dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
