we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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