please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
