He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
