Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize