I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
