Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
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