So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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