Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
