i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
