I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
