I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
