I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
