I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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