Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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