I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
