i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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