YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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