You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 609 share tweet
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
