hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
