does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
