what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
