on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize