I think I am morally bankrupt
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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