i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
