he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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