I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
