dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
