i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
