lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
