I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
