also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
