I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
