I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You need a sexual gate keeper
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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