escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize