I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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