Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
She's just so happy...and so naked.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
