It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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