I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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