Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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