Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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