I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
