Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
