one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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