Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize