i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
