I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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