after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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