I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
we're making bets on your personal life
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
