I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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