i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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