That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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