who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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