All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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