i barfeds in our rink
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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