I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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