sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
