come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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