yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
