Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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