She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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