would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
