Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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